苦丁茶散文800字 |
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天气渐渐炎热起来了,各种各样的饮料争相上市,然而我并不喜欢,因为我知道,只要我一回家,就有我喜欢的苦丁茶。【方老师点评:对比引入,引人入胜!】 | tian qi jian jian yan re qi lai le ,ge chong ge yang de yin liao zheng xiang shang shi ,ran er wo bing bu xi huan ,yin wei wo zhi dao ,zhi yao wo yi hui jia ,jiu you wo xi huan de ku ding cha 。【fang lao shi dian ping :dui bi yin ru ,yin ren ru sheng !】 |
其实原来我也并不喜欢喝它,觉得它太苦,没有“雪碧”的清凉爽口,也没有奶茶的香浓可口,更没有“酷儿”那酸酸甜甜的好味道,当初接触它,只是因为父亲的缘故。【方老师点评:道出喜欢的原因!】 | ji shi yuan lai wo ye bing bu xi huan he ta ,jiao de ta tai ku ,mei you “xue bi ”de qing liang shuang kou ,ye mei you nai cha de xiang nong ke kou ,geng mei you “ku er ”na suan suan tian tian de hao wei dao ,dang chu jie chu ta ,zhi shi yin wei fu qin de yuan gu 。【fang lao shi dian ping :dao chu xi huan de yuan yin !】 |
父亲这些年来走东走西的,人过中年,虽然开始注意起养生之道来了,他的茶杯里经常可以看到枸杞、莲心等保健食品——当然,也有苦丁茶——那是他在出差时发现的,听他说功效很好。【方老师点评:何为发现?这处要修改!可简写此茶之功能!】 | fu qin zhe xie nian lai zou dong zou xi de ,ren guo zhong nian ,sui ran kai shi zhu yi qi yang sheng zhi dao lai le ,ta de cha bei li jing chang ke yi kan dao gou qi 、lian xin deng bao jian shi pin ——dang ran ,ye you ku ding cha ——na shi ta zai chu cha shi fa xian de ,ting ta shui gong xiao hen hao 。【fang lao shi dian ping :he wei fa xian ?zhe chu yao xiu gai !ke jian xie ci cha zhi gong neng !】 |
父亲觉得我也需要调整,于是,从那时起,我便与它结下了不解之缘。【方老师点评:简单补我需要调整的原因!】每天放学,我总是会先把它一饮而尽,刚开始的时候,我总是嫌烦,父亲只好一遍遍地催我快去喝。【方老师点评:可适当详细!神态、语气等细节……】然而现在,我已把它和我的生活融为了一体,一天不喝,还真感觉缺少了什么一样。 | fu qin jiao de wo ye xu yao diao zheng ,yu shi ,cong na shi qi ,wo bian yu ta jie xia le bu jie zhi yuan 。【fang lao shi dian ping :jian chan bu wo xu yao diao zheng de yuan yin !】mei tian fang xue ,wo zong shi hui xian ba ta yi yin er jin ,gang kai shi de shi hou ,wo zong shi xian fan ,fu qin zhi hao yi bian bian de cui wo kuai qu he 。【fang lao shi dian ping :ke kuo dang xiang xi !shen tai 、yu qi deng xi jie ……】ran er xian zai ,wo yi ba ta he wo de sheng huo rong wei le yi ti ,yi tian bu he ,hai zhen gan jiao que shao le shen me yi yang 。 |
苦丁茶,顾名思义,它应该是苦的,确实,当我第一次喝的时候,觉得它真的是世界上最苦的东西,可是,我每次看见父亲喝的时候,总是一副飘飘然的样子,似乎把全身心都投入在其中的样子。然而,月复一日,日复一日地,先前的苦味似乎在慢慢消失,取而代之地竟然是微甜。 | ku ding cha ,gu ming sai yi ,ta ying gai shi ku de ,que shi ,dang wo di yi ci he de shi hou ,jiao de ta zhen de shi shi jie shang zui ku de dong xi ,ke shi ,wo mei ci kan jian fu qin he de shi hou ,zong shi yi fu piao piao ran de yang zi ,shi hu ba quan shen xin dou tou ru zai ji zhong de yang zi 。ran er ,yue fu yi ri ,ri fu yi ri de ,xian qian de ku wei shi hu zai man man xiao shi ,qu er dai zhi de jing ran shi wei tian 。 |
我不知道这是怎么一回事,然而我知道每天都是父亲为我泡的茶。他先将杯子洗干净,然后从盒子里拿出几根苦丁茶。刚开始时,父亲怕我喝不了那么苦的东西,于是就放一片茶叶,然而现在他总放两片,最后只要用开水一冲就可以,日复一日,似乎从不曾间断过。【方老师点评:苦中有甜,甜中有情!】 | wo bu zhi dao zhe shi zen me yi hui shi ,ran er wo zhi dao mei tian dou shi fu qin wei wo pao de cha 。ta xian jiang bei zi xi gan jing ,ran hou cong he zi li na chu ji gen ku ding cha 。gang kai shi shi ,fu qin pa wo he bu le na me ku de dong xi ,yu shi jiu fang yi pian cha xie ,ran er xian zai ta zong fang liang pian ,zui hou zhi yao yong kai shui yi chong jiu ke yi ,ri fu yi ri ,shi hu cong bu ceng jian duan guo 。【fang lao shi dian ping :ku zhong you tian ,tian zhong you qing !】 |
茶叶总是在一开始时飘浮不定,充满着热情,然而随着时间的流逝,它会渐渐平静,变得不动声色,但这时,心里却只有微甜,一圈一圈地漾开。 | cha xie zong shi zai yi kai shi shi piao fu bu ding ,chong man zhao re qing ,ran er sui zhao shi jian de liu shi ,ta hui jian jian ping jing ,bian de bu dong sheng se ,dan zhe shi ,xin li que zhi you wei tian ,yi juan yi juan de yang kai 。 |
哦,原来,我天天喝的,不仅仅是一杯苦丁茶而已。【方老师点评:描写与抒情结合!】 | e ,yuan lai ,wo tian tian he de ,bu jin jin shi yi bei ku ding cha er yi 。【fang lao shi dian ping :miao xie yu shu qing jie ge !】 |
tian qi jian jian yan re qi lai le ,ge chong ge yang de yin liao zheng xiang shang shi ,ran er wo bing bu xi huan ,yin wei wo zhi dao ,zhi yao wo yi hui jia ,jiu you wo xi huan de ku ding cha 。【fang lao shi dian ping :dui bi yin ru ,yin ren ru sheng !】
ji shi yuan lai wo ye bing bu xi huan he ta ,jiao de ta tai ku ,mei you “xue bi ”de qing liang shuang kou ,ye mei you nai cha de xiang nong ke kou ,geng mei you “ku er ”na suan suan tian tian de hao wei dao ,dang chu jie chu ta ,zhi shi yin wei fu qin de yuan gu 。【fang lao shi dian ping :dao chu xi huan de yuan yin !】
fu qin zhe xie nian lai zou dong zou xi de ,ren guo zhong nian ,sui ran kai shi zhu yi qi yang sheng zhi dao lai le ,ta de cha bei li jing chang ke yi kan dao gou qi 、lian xin deng bao jian shi pin ——dang ran ,ye you ku ding cha ——na shi ta zai chu cha shi fa xian de ,ting ta shui gong xiao hen hao 。【fang lao shi dian ping :he wei fa xian ?zhe chu yao xiu gai !ke jian xie ci cha zhi gong neng !】
fu qin jiao de wo ye xu yao diao zheng ,yu shi ,cong na shi qi ,wo bian yu ta jie xia le bu jie zhi yuan 。【fang lao shi dian ping :jian chan bu wo xu yao diao zheng de yuan yin !】mei tian fang xue ,wo zong shi hui xian ba ta yi yin er jin ,gang kai shi de shi hou ,wo zong shi xian fan ,fu qin zhi hao yi bian bian de
cui wo kuai qu he 。【fang lao shi dian ping :ke kuo dang xiang xi !shen tai 、yu qi deng xi jie ……】ran er xian zai ,wo yi ba ta he wo de sheng huo rong wei le yi ti ,yi tian bu he ,hai zhen gan jiao que shao le shen me yi yang 。
ku ding cha ,gu ming sai yi ,ta ying gai shi ku de ,que shi ,dang wo di yi ci he de shi hou ,jiao de ta zhen de shi shi jie shang zui ku de dong xi ,ke shi ,wo mei ci kan jian fu qin he de shi hou ,zong shi yi fu piao piao ran de yang zi ,shi hu ba quan shen xin dou tou ru zai ji zhong de yang zi 。ran er ,yue fu yi ri ,ri fu yi ri de ,xian qian de ku wei shi hu zai man man xiao shi ,qu er dai zhi de jing ran shi wei tian 。
wo bu zhi dao zhe shi zen me yi hui shi ,ran er wo zhi dao mei tian dou shi fu qin wei wo pao de cha 。ta xian jiang bei zi xi gan jing ,ran hou cong he zi li na chu ji gen ku ding cha 。gang kai shi shi ,fu qin pa wo he bu le na me ku de dong xi ,yu shi jiu fang yi pian cha xie ,ran er xian zai ta zong fang liang pian ,zui hou zhi yao yong kai shui yi chong jiu ke yi ,ri fu yi ri ,shi hu cong bu ceng jian duan guo 。【fang lao shi dian ping :ku zhong you tian ,tian zhong you qing !】
cha xie zong shi zai yi kai shi shi piao fu bu ding ,chong man zhao re qing ,ran er sui zhao shi jian de liu shi ,ta hui jian jian ping jing ,bian de bu dong sheng se ,dan zhe shi ,xin li que zhi you wei tian ,yi juan yi juan de yang kai 。
e ,yuan lai ,wo tian tian he de ,bu jin jin shi yi bei ku ding cha er yi 。【fang lao shi dian ping :miao xie yu shu qing jie ge !】
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