| 冰心《关于女人》第十四篇:我的邻居 |
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| m太太是我的同事的女儿,也做过我的学生,现在又是我的邻居。 | mtai tai shi wo de tong shi de nv er ,ye zuo guo wo de xue sheng ,xian zai you shi wo de lin ju 。 |
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| 我头一次看见她,是在她父亲的家里——那年我初到某大学任教,照例拜访了几位本系里的前辈同事——她父亲很骄傲的将她介绍给我,说:“×先生,这是我的大女儿,今年十五岁了。资质还好,也肯看书,她最喜欢外国文学,请你指教指教她。” | wo tou yi ci kan jian ta ,shi zai ta fu qin de jia li ——na nian wo chu dao mou da xue ren jiao ,zhao li bai fang le ji wei ben ji li de qian bei tong shi ——ta fu qin hen jiao ao de jiang ta jie shao gei wo ,shui :“×xian sheng ,zhe shi wo de da nv er ,jin nian shi wu sui le 。zi zhi hai hao ,ye ken kan shu ,ta zui xi huan wai guo wen xue ,qing ni zhi jiao zhi jiao ta 。” |
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| 那时m太太还是个小姑娘,身材瘦小,面色苍白,两条很粗的短发辫,垂在脑后。说起话来很腼腆,笑的时候却很“甜”,不时的用手指去托她的眼镜。 | na shi mtai tai hai shi ge xiao gu niang ,shen cai shou xiao ,mian se cang bai ,liang tiao hen cu de duan fa bian ,chui zai nao hou 。shui qi hua lai hen mian tian ,xiao de shi hou que hen “tian ”,bu shi de yong shou zhi qu tuo ta de yan jing 。 |
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| 我同她略谈了几句,提起她所已看过的英国文学,使我大大的吃惊!例如:哈代的全部小说集,她已看了大半;她还会背诵好几首英国十九世纪的长诗她父亲又很高兴的去取了一个小纸本来,递给我看,上面题着“露珠”,是她写的仿冰心《繁星》体的短篇诗集,大约有二百多首。我略翻了翻,念了一两首,觉得词句很清新,很莹洁,很像一颗颗春晨的露珠。 | wo tong ta lve tan le ji gou ,di qi ta suo yi kan guo de ying guo wen xue ,shi wo da da de chi jing !li ru :ha dai de quan bu xiao shui ji ,ta yi kan le da ban ;ta hai hui bei song hao ji shou ying guo shi jiu shi ji de chang shi ta fu qin you hen gao xing de qu qu le yi ge xiao zhi ben lai ,di gei wo kan ,shang mian ti zhao “lou zhu ”,shi ta xie de fang bing xin 《fan xing 》ti de duan pian shi ji ,da yao you er bai duo shou 。wo lve fan le fan ,nian le yi liang shou ,jiao de ci gou hen qing xin ,hen ying jie ,hen xiang yi ke ke chun chen de lou zhu 。 |
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| 我称赞了几句,她父亲笑说:“她还写小说呢——你去把那本小说拿来给×先生看!”她脸红了说:“爸爸总是这样!我还没写完呢。”一面掀开帘子,跑了出去,再不进来。她父亲笑对我说:“你看她惯的一点规矩都没有了!我的这几个孩子,也就是她还聪明一点,可惜的是她身体不大好。” | wo chen zan le ji gou ,ta fu qin xiao shui :“ta hai xie xiao shui ne ——ni qu ba na ben xiao shui na lai gei ×xian sheng kan !”ta lian gong le shui :“ba ba zong shi zhe yang !wo hai mei xie wan ne 。”yi mian xian kai lian zi ,pao le chu qu ,zai bu jin lai 。ta fu qin xiao dui wo shui :“ni kan ta guan de yi dian gui ju dou mei you le !wo de zhe ji ge hai zi ,ye jiu shi ta hai cong ming yi dian ,ke xi de shi ta shen ti bu da hao 。” |
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| 一年以后,她又做了我的学生。大学一年级的班很大,我同她接触的机会不多,但从她做的文课里,看出她对于文学创作,极有前途;她思想缜密,描写细腻,比其他的同学,高出许多。 | yi nian yi hou ,ta you zuo le wo de xue sheng 。da xue yi nian ji de ban hen da ,wo tong ta jie chu de ji hui bu duo ,dan cong ta zuo de wen ke li ,kan chu ta dui yu wen xue chuang zuo ,ji you qian tu ;ta sai xiang zhen mi ,miao xie xi ni ,bi ji ta de tong xue ,gao chu hu duo 。 |
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| 此后因为我做了学生会出版组的顾问,她是出版组的重要负责人员,倒是常有机会谈话。几年来的一切进步都很快,她的文章也常常在校外的文学刊物上出现,技术和思想又都比较成熟,在文学界上渐渐的露了头角。 | ci hou yin wei wo zuo le xue sheng hui chu ban zu de gu wen ,ta shi chu ban zu de chong yao fu ze ren yuan ,dao shi chang you ji hui tan hua 。ji nian lai de yi qie jin bu dou hen kuai ,ta de wen zhang ye chang chang zai jiao wai de wen xue kan wu shang chu xian ,ji shu he sai xiang you dou bi jiao cheng shou ,zai wen xue jie shang jian jian de lou le tou jiao 。 |
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| 大学毕业后,她便同一位m先生结了婚。m先生也是一位作家——他们婚后就到南京去,有七八年我没有得到直接的消息。 | da xue bi ye hou ,ta bian tong yi wei mxian sheng jie le hun 。mxian sheng ye shi yi wei zuo jia ——ta men hun hou jiu dao na jing qu ,you qi ba nian wo mei you de dao zhi jie de xiao xi 。 |
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| 抗战后一年,我到了昆明。朋友们替我找房子,说是有一位m教授的楼上,有一间房子可以分租,地点也好,离学校很近。我们同去一看,那位m太太原来就是那位我的同事的女儿;相见之下,十分欢喜。那房子很小,光线也不大好,只是从高高的窗口,可以望见青翠的西山。m家还有一位老太太,四个孩子,一个挨一个的,最小的不过有两岁左右。m太太比从前更苍白了,一瘦就显得老,她仿佛是三十以外的人了。 | kang zhan hou yi nian ,wo dao le kun ming 。peng you men ti wo zhao fang zi ,shui shi you yi wei mjiao shou de lou shang ,you yi jian fang zi ke yi fen zu ,de dian ye hao ,li xue jiao hen jin 。wo men tong qu yi kan ,na wei mtai tai yuan lai jiu shi na wei wo de tong shi de nv er ;xiang jian zhi xia ,shi fen huan xi 。na fang zi hen xiao ,guang xian ye bu da hao ,zhi shi cong gao gao de chuang kou ,ke yi wang jian qing cui de xi shan 。mjia hai you yi wei lao tai tai ,si ge hai zi ,yi ge ai yi ge de ,zui xiao de bu guo you liang sui zuo you 。mtai tai bi cong qian geng cang bai le ,yi shou jiu xian de lao ,ta fang fo shi san shi yi wai de ren le 。 |
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| 说定了以后,我拿了简单的行李,一小箱书,便住到m家的楼上。那天晚上,便见着m先生,他也比从前瘦了,性情更显得急躁,仿佛对于一切都觉得不顺眼。他带着三个大点的孩子,在一盏陰暗的煤油灯下,吃着晚饭。老太太在厨房里不知忙些什么。m太太抱着最小的孩子,出出进进,替他们端菜盛饭,大家都不大说话。我在饭桌旁边。勉强坐了一会,就上楼去了。 | shui ding le yi hou ,wo na le jian chan de hang li ,yi xiao xiang shu ,bian zhu dao mjia de lou shang 。na tian wan shang ,bian jian zhao mxian sheng ,ta ye bi cong qian shou le ,xing qing geng xian de ji zao ,fang fo dui yu yi qie dou jiao de bu shun yan 。ta dai zhao san ge da dian de hai zi ,zai yi zhan 陰an de mei you deng xia ,chi zhao wan fan 。lao tai tai zai chu fang li bu zhi mang xie shen me 。mtai tai bao zhao zui xiao de hai zi ,chu chu jin jin ,ti ta men duan cai cheng fan ,da jia dou bu da shui hua 。wo zai fan zhuo pang bian 。mian jiang zuo le yi hui ,jiu shang lou qu le 。 |
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| 住了不到半个月,我便想搬家,这家庭实在太不安静了,而且陰沉得可怕!这几个孩子,不知道是因为营养不足,还是其他的缘故,常常哭闹。老太太总是叨叨唠唠的,常对我抱怨m太太什么都不会。m先生晚上回来,才把那些哭声怨声压低了下去,但顿时楼下又震荡着他的骂孩子,怪太太,以及愤时忧世的怨怒的声音。他们的卧室,正在我的底下,地板坏了,逗不上笋来。我一个人,总是静悄悄的,而楼下的声音,却是隐约上腾,半夜总听见喳喳嘁嘁的,“如哭如诉”,有时忽然听见m先生使劲的摔了一件东西,生气的嚷着,小孩子忽然都哭了起来,我就半天睡不着觉! | zhu le bu dao ban ge yue ,wo bian xiang ban jia ,zhe jia ting shi zai tai bu an jing le ,er ju 陰chen de ke pa !zhe ji ge hai zi ,bu zhi dao shi yin wei ying yang bu zu ,hai shi ji ta de yuan gu ,chang chang ku nao 。lao tai tai zong shi dao dao lao lao de ,chang dui wo bao yuan mtai tai shen me dou bu hui 。mxian sheng wan shang hui lai ,cai ba na xie ku sheng yuan sheng ya di le xia qu ,dan du shi lou xia you zhen dang zhao ta de ma hai zi ,guai tai tai ,yi ji fen shi you shi de yuan nu de sheng yin 。ta men de wo shi ,zheng zai wo de de xia ,de ban huai le ,dou bu shang sun lai 。wo yi ge ren ,zong shi jing qiao qiao de ,er lou xia de sheng yin ,que shi yin yao shang teng ,ban ye zong ting jian cha cha qi qi de ,“ru ku ru su ”,you shi hu ran ting jian mxian sheng shi jin de shuai le yi jian dong xi ,sheng qi de rang zhao ,xiao hai zi hu ran dou ku le qi lai ,wo jiu ban tian shui bu zhao jiao ! |
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| 正在我想搬家的那一天早晨,走到楼下,发现屋里静悄悄的,没有一个人。我叫了一声,看见m太太扎煞着手,从厨房里出来。她一面用手背掠开了垂拂在脸上的乱发,一面问:“×先生有事吗?他们都出去了。”我知道这“他们”就是老太太同m先生了,我就问:“孩子们呢?”她说:“也出去了,早饭没弄得好,小菜又没有了,他们说是出去吃点东西。” | zheng zai wo xiang ban jia de na yi tian zao chen ,zou dao lou xia ,fa xian wu li jing qiao qiao de ,mei you yi ge ren 。wo jiao le yi sheng ,kan jian mtai tai za sha zhao shou ,cong chu fang li chu lai 。ta yi mian yong shou bei lve kai le chui bi zai lian shang de luan fa ,yi mian wen :“×xian sheng you shi ma ?ta men dou chu qu le 。”wo zhi dao zhe “ta men ”jiu shi lao tai tai tong mxian sheng le ,wo jiu wen :“hai zi men ne ?”ta shui :“ye chu qu le ,zao fan mei long de hao ,xiao cai you mei you le ,ta men shui shi chu qu chi dian dong xi 。” |
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| 她嘴唇颤动着惨笑了一下,说:“我这个人真不中用,从小就没学过这些事情。母亲总是说”几毛钱一件的衣工,一两块钱一双皮鞋,这年头女孩子真不必学做活了,还是念书要紧,念出书来好挣钱,我那时候想念书,还没有学校呢。“父亲更是由着我,我在家里简直没有进过厨房您看我生火总是生不着,反弄了一厨房的烟!”说着又用乌黑的手背去擦眼睛。 | ta zui chun chan dong zhao can xiao le yi xia ,shui :“wo zhe ge ren zhen bu zhong yong ,cong xiao jiu mei xue guo zhe xie shi qing 。mu qin zong shi shui ”ji mao qian yi jian de yi gong ,yi liang kuai qian yi shuang pi xie ,zhe nian tou nv hai zi zhen bu bi xue zuo huo le ,hai shi nian shu yao jin ,nian chu shu lai hao zheng qian ,wo na shi hou xiang nian shu ,hai mei you xue jiao ne 。“fu qin geng shi you zhao wo ,wo zai jia li jian zhi mei you jin guo chu fang nin kan wo sheng huo zong shi sheng bu zhao ,fan long le yi chu fang de yan !”shui zhao you yong wu hei de shou bei qu ca yan jing 。 |
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| 我来了这么几天,她也没有跟我说过这么多的话。我看她的眼睛又红又肿,声音也哑着,我知道她一定又哭过,便说: | wo lai le zhe me ji tian ,ta ye mei you gen wo shui guo zhe me duo de hua 。wo kan ta de yan jing you gong you zhong ,sheng yin ye e zhao ,wo zhi dao ta yi ding you ku guo ,bian shui : |
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| “他们既然出去吃了,你就别生火吧。你赶紧洗了手,我楼上有些点心,还有罐头牛奶,用暖壶里的水冲了就可吃,等我去取了来。”我不等她回答便向楼上走,她含着泪站在楼梯边呆望着我。 | “ta men ji ran chu qu chi le ,ni jiu bie sheng huo ba 。ni gan jin xi le shou ,wo lou shang you xie dian xin ,hai you guan tou niu nai ,yong nuan hu li de shui chong le jiu ke chi ,deng wo qu qu le lai 。”wo bu deng ta hui da bian xiang lou shang zou ,ta han zhao lei zhan zai lou ti bian dai wang zhao wo 。 |
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| m太太一声不言语的,呆呆的低头调着牛奶,吃着点心。 | mtai tai yi sheng bu yan yu de ,dai dai de di tou diao zhao niu nai ,chi zhao dian xin 。 |
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| 过了半天,我就说:“昆明就是这样好,天空总是海一样的青!” | guo le ban tian ,wo jiu shui :“kun ming jiu shi zhe yang hao ,tian kong zong shi hai yi yang de qing !” |
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| 你记得卜朗宁夫人的诗吧“正说着,忽然一声悠长的汽笛,惨厉的叫了起来,接着四方八面似乎都有汽笛在叫,门外便听见人跑。m太太倏的站了起来,颤声说”这是警报! | ni ji de bo lang ning fu ren de shi ba “zheng shui zhao ,hu ran yi sheng you chang de qi di ,can li de jiao le qi lai ,jie zhao si fang ba mian shi hu dou you qi di zai jiao ,men wai bian ting jian ren pao 。mtai tai shu de zhan le qi lai ,chan sheng shui ”zhe shi jing bao ! |
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| 孩子们不知都在哪里?“我也连忙站起来,说”你不要怕,他们一定就在附近,等我去找。“我们正往门外走,老太太已经带着四个孩子,连爬带跌的到了门前,原来m先生说是学校办公室里还有文稿,他去抢救稿子去了,却把老的小的打发回家来!” | hai zi men bu zhi dou zai na li ?“wo ye lian mang zhan qi lai ,shui ”ni bu yao pa ,ta men yi ding jiu zai fu jin ,deng wo qu zhao 。“wo men zheng wang men wai zou ,lao tai tai yi jing dai zhao si ge hai zi ,lian pa dai die de dao le men qian ,yuan lai mxian sheng shui shi xue jiao ban gong shi li hai you wen gao ,ta qu qiang jiu gao zi qu le ,que ba lao de xiao de da fa hui jia lai !” |
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| 我帮着m太太把小的两个抱起,m太太看着我,惊慌地说:“×先生,我们要躲一躲吧?”我说:“也好,省得小孩子们害怕。”我们胡乱收拾点东西,拉起孩子,向外就走。忽然老太太从屋里抱着一个大蓝布包皮袱,气急败坏的一步一跌的出来,嘴里说:“别走,等等我!”这时头上已来了一阵极沉重的隆隆飞机声音。我抬头一看,蔚蓝的天空里,白光闪烁,九架银灰色的飞机,排列着极整齐的队伍,稳稳的飞过。一阵机关槍响之后,紧接着就是天塌地陷似的几阵大声,门窗震动。小孩子哇的一声,哭了起来,老太太已瘫倒在门边。这时我们都挤在门洞里,m太太面色惨白,紧紧的抱着几个孩子,低声说:“莫怕莫怕。×先生在这里!”我一面扶起老太太,说:“不要紧了,飞机已经过去了。”正说着街上已有了人声,家家门口有人涌了出来,纷纷的惊惶的说话。m太太站起拍拍衣服,拉着孩子也出到门口。我们站着听了一会,天上已经没有一点声息。我说:“我们进去歇歇吧,敌机已经去了。”m太太点了点头,我又帮她把孩子抱回屋去,自己上得楼来;刚刚坐定,便听见m先生回来;他一进门就大声嚷着: | wo bang zhao mtai tai ba xiao de liang ge bao qi ,mtai tai kan zhao wo ,jing huang de shui :“×xian sheng ,wo men yao duo yi duo ba ?”wo shui :“ye hao ,sheng de xiao hai zi men hai pa 。”wo men hu luan shou she dian dong xi ,la qi hai zi ,xiang wai jiu zou 。hu ran lao tai tai cong wu li bao zhao yi ge da lan bu bao pi fu ,qi ji bai huai de yi bu yi die de chu lai ,zui li shui :“bie zou ,deng deng wo !”zhe shi tou shang yi lai le yi zhen ji chen chong de long long fei ji sheng yin 。wo tai tou yi kan ,wei lan de tian kong li ,bai guang shan shuo ,jiu jia yin hui se de fei ji ,pai lie zhao ji zheng ji de dui wu ,wen wen de fei guo 。yi zhen ji guan 槍xiang zhi hou ,jin jie zhao jiu shi tian ta de xian shi de ji zhen da sheng ,men chuang zhen dong 。xiao hai zi wa de yi sheng ,ku le qi lai ,lao tai tai yi tan dao zai men bian 。zhe shi wo men dou ji zai men dong li ,mtai tai mian se can bai ,jin jin de bao zhao ji ge hai zi ,di sheng shui :“mo pa mo pa 。×xian sheng zai zhe li !”wo yi mian fu qi lao tai tai ,shui :“bu yao jin le ,fei ji yi jing guo qu le 。”zheng shui zhao jie shang yi you le ren sheng ,jia jia men kou you ren chong le chu lai ,fen fen de jing huang de shui hua 。mtai tai zhan qi pai pai yi fu ,la zhao hai zi ye chu dao men kou 。wo men zhan zhao ting le yi hui ,tian shang yi jing mei you yi dian sheng xi 。wo shui :“wo men jin qu xie xie ba ,di ji yi jing qu le 。”mtai tai dian le dian tou ,wo you bang ta ba hai zi bao hui wu qu ,zi ji shang de lou lai ;gang gang zuo ding ,bian ting jian mxian sheng hui lai ;ta yi jin men jiu da sheng rang zhao : |
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| “好,没有一片干净土了,还会追到昆明来!我刚抱出书包皮来,那边就炸了,这班鬼东西!” | “hao ,mei you yi pian gan jing tu le ,hai hui zhui dao kun ming lai !wo gang bao chu shu bao pi lai ,na bian jiu zha le ,zhe ban gui dong xi !” |
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| 从那天起,差不多就天天有警报。m先生却总是警报前出去,解除后才回来,还抱怨家里没有早预备饭。m太太一声儿不言语,肿着眼泡,低头出入。有时早晨她在厨房里,看见我下楼打脸水,就怯怯的苦笑问:“×先生今天不出去吧?” | cong na tian qi ,cha bu duo jiu tian tian you jing bao 。mxian sheng que zong shi jing bao qian chu qu ,jie chu hou cai hui lai ,hai bao yuan jia li mei you zao yu bei fan 。mtai tai yi sheng er bu yan yu ,zhong zhao yan pao ,di tou chu ru 。you shi zao chen ta zai chu fang li ,kan jian wo xia lou da lian shui ,jiu qie qie de ku xiao wen :“×xian sheng jin tian bu chu qu ba ?” |
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| 我总说:“不到上课的时候,我是不会走的,你有事叫我好了。” | wo zong shui :“bu dao shang ke de shi hou ,wo shi bu hui zou de ,ni you shi jiao wo hao le 。” |
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| 老太太不肯到野外去,怕露天不安全,她总躲在城墙边一个防空洞里。我同m太太就带着孩子跑到城外去。我们选定了一片大树下,壕沟式的一块地方,三面还有破土墙挡着。 | lao tai tai bu ken dao ye wai qu ,pa lou tian bu an quan ,ta zong duo zai cheng qiang bian yi ge fang kong dong li 。wo tong mtai tai jiu dai zhao hai zi pao dao cheng wai qu 。wo men shua ding le yi pian da shu xia ,hao gou shi de yi kuai de fang ,san mian hai you po tu qiang dang zhao 。 |
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| 孩子们逃警报也逃惯了,他们就在那壕沟里盖起小泥瓦房子,插起树枝,天天继续着工作。最小的一个,往往就睡在母亲的手臂上,我有时也带着书去看。午时警报若未解除,我们就在野地里吃些干点充饥。 | hai zi men tao jing bao ye tao guan le ,ta men jiu zai na hao gou li gai qi xiao ni wa fang zi ,cha qi shu zhi ,tian tian ji xu zhao gong zuo 。zui xiao de yi ge ,wang wang jiu shui zai mu qin de shou bei shang ,wo you shi ye dai zhao shu qu kan 。wu shi jing bao re wei jie chu ,wo men jiu zai ye de li chi xie gan dian chong ji 。 |
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| 坐在壕沟里无聊,就闲谈。从m太太零碎的谈话里,我猜出她的许多委屈。她从来不曾抱怨过任何人,连对那几个不甚讨人喜欢的孩子,她也不曾表示过不满。她很少提起家里的事,可是从她们的衣服饮食上,我知道她们是很穷困的。 | zuo zai hao gou li mo liao ,jiu xian tan 。cong mtai tai ling sui de tan hua li ,wo cai chu ta de hu duo wei qu 。ta cong lai bu ceng bao yuan guo ren he ren ,lian dui na ji ge bu shen tao ren xi huan de hai zi ,ta ye bu ceng biao shi guo bu man 。ta hen shao di qi jia li de shi ,ke shi cong ta men de yi fu yin shi shang ,wo zhi dao ta men shi hen qiong kun de 。 |
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| 眼看着她一天一天的憔悴下去,我就想帮她一点忙。有一次我就问她愿不愿去教书,或是写几篇文章,拿点稿费。家务事有老太太照管,再雇个佣人,也就可以做得开了,她本来不喜欢做那些杂务,何必不就“用其所长”? | yan kan zhao ta yi tian yi tian de qiao cui xia qu ,wo jiu xiang bang ta yi dian mang 。you yi ci wo jiu wen ta yuan bu yuan qu jiao shu ,huo shi xie ji pian wen zhang ,na dian gao fei 。jia wu shi you lao tai tai zhao guan ,zai gu ge yong ren ,ye jiu ke yi zuo de kai le ,ta ben lai bu xi huan zuo na xie za wu ,he bi bu jiu “yong ji suo chang ”? |
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| m太太盘着腿坐在地上,抱着孩子,轻轻的摇动,静静的听着,过了半天才抬起头来,说:“×先生,谢谢你的关怀,这些事我都早已想过了,我刚来的时候,也教过书,学校里对于我,比对我的先生还满意。”说到这里,她微笑了,这是我近来第一次见到的笑容!她停了一会说:“后来不知如何,他就反对我出去教书老太太也说那几个孩子,她弄不了,我就又回到家里来。以后就有几个朋友同事,来叫我写稿子。” | mtai tai pan zhao tui zuo zai de shang ,bao zhao hai zi ,qing qing de yao dong ,jing jing de ting zhao ,guo le ban tian cai tai qi tou lai ,shui :“×xian sheng ,xie xie ni de guan huai ,zhe xie shi wo dou zao yi xiang guo le ,wo gang lai de shi hou ,ye jiao guo shu ,xue jiao li dui yu wo ,bi dui wo de xian sheng hai man yi 。”shui dao zhe li ,ta wei xiao le ,zhe shi wo jin lai di yi ci jian dao de xiao rong !ta ting le yi hui shui :“hou lai bu zhi ru he ,ta jiu fan dui wo chu qu jiao shu lao tai tai ye shui na ji ge hai zi ,ta long bu le ,wo jiu you hui dao jia li lai 。yi hou jiu you ji ge peng you tong shi ,lai jiao wo xie gao zi 。” |
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| ×先生,你知道我从小喜欢写文章,尤其是现在,我一拿起笔,一肚子的一肚子的事,就奔涌了出来。眼前一切就都模糊恍惚,在写作里真可以逃避了许多现实“她低头玩弄着孩子襟上的纽扣,微微的叹了一口气,说”但是现实还是现实,一声孩子哭,一个客人来,老太太说东说西,老妈子问长问短,把我的文思常常忽然惊断,许久许久不能再拿起笔来。而且——写文章实在要心境平静,虽然不一定要快乐,而我现在呢?不用说快乐,要平静也就很难很难的了! | ×xian sheng ,ni zhi dao wo cong xiao xi huan xie wen zhang ,you ji shi xian zai ,wo yi na qi bi ,yi du zi de yi du zi de shi ,jiu ben chong le chu lai 。yan qian yi qie jiu dou mo hu huang hu ,zai xie zuo li zhen ke yi tao bi le hu duo xian shi “ta di tou wan long zhao hai zi jin shang de niu kou ,wei wei de tan le yi kou qi ,shui ”dan shi xian shi hai shi xian shi ,yi sheng hai zi ku ,yi ge ke ren lai ,lao tai tai shui dong shui xi ,lao ma zi wen chang wen duan ,ba wo de wen sai chang chang hu ran jing duan ,hu jiu hu jiu bu neng zai na qi bi lai 。er ju ——xie wen zhang shi zai yao xin jing ping jing ,sui ran bu yi ding yao kuai le ,er wo xian zai ne ?bu yong shui kuai le ,yao ping jing ye jiu hen nan hen nan de le ! |
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| “写了两篇文章,我的先生最先发现写文章卖钱,是得不偿失!稿费增加和工资增加的速度,几乎是一与百之比,衣工,鞋价,更不必说。靠稿费来添置孩子衣服,固然是梦想,写五千字的小说,来换一双小鞋子,也是不可能。没有了鼓励,没有了希望,而写文章只引起自己伤心,家人责难的时候,我便把女工辞退了。其实她早就要走——我们家钱少,孩子多,上人脾气又不大好,没有什么事使她留恋的,不像我我是走不脱的!” | “xie le liang pian wen zhang ,wo de xian sheng zui xian fa xian xie wen zhang mai qian ,shi de bu chang shi !gao fei zeng jia he gong zi zeng jia de su du ,ji hu shi yi yu bai zhi bi ,yi gong ,xie jia ,geng bu bi shui 。kao gao fei lai tian zhi hai zi yi fu ,gu ran shi meng xiang ,xie wu qian zi de xiao shui ,lai huan yi shuang xiao xie zi ,ye shi bu ke neng 。mei you le gu li ,mei you le xi wang ,er xie wen zhang zhi yin qi zi ji shang xin ,jia ren ze nan de shi hou ,wo bian ba nv gong ci tui le 。ji shi ta zao jiu yao zou ——wo men jia qian shao ,hai zi duo ,shang ren pi qi you bu da hao ,mei you shen me shi shi ta liu lian de ,bu xiang wo wo shi zou bu tuo de !” |
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| “我生着火,拣着米,洗着菜,缝着鞋子,补着袜子,心里就象枯树一般的空洞,麻木。本来,抗战时代,有谁安逸?能安逸的就不是人;我不求安逸,我相信我虽没有学过家务,我也能将就的做,而且我也不怕做,劳作有劳作的快乐,只要心里能得到一点慰安,温暖。” | “wo sheng zhao huo ,jian zhao mi ,xi zhao cai ,feng zhao xie zi ,bu zhao wa zi ,xin li jiu xiang ku shu yi ban de kong dong ,ma mu 。ben lai ,kang zhan shi dai ,you shei an yi ?neng an yi de jiu bu shi ren ;wo bu qiu an yi ,wo xiang xin wo sui mei you xue guo jia wu ,wo ye neng jiang jiu de zuo ,er ju wo ye bu pa zuo ,lao zuo you lao zuo de kuai le ,zhi yao xin li neng de dao yi dian wei an ,wen nuan 。” |
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| “我没有对任何人说过任何言语,自己苦够了,这万方多难的年头,何必又增加别人的痛苦?对我的父母,我是更不说的。父亲从北方来信,总是说”南国浓郁明艳的风光,不知又添了你多少诗料,为何不寄点短诗给爸爸看?“最近不知是谁,向他们报告了这里的实况,母亲很忧苦的写了信来,说”我不知道你们那里竟是这个样子!老太太总该可以帮帮忙吧?早知如此,我当初不该由着你读书写字,把身体弄坏了,家事也一点不会。“她把自己抱怨了一顿,我看了信,真是心如刀割。我自己痛苦不要紧,还害得父亲为我失望,母亲为我伤心,×先生,这真是《琵琶记》里蔡中郎所说的”文章误我,我误爹娘“了!”她说着忍不住把孩子推在一边,用衣襟掩着脸大哭了起来。孩子们也许看惯了妈妈的啼哭,呆立了一会,便慢慢走开,仍去玩耍。我呢,不知道怎样劝她,也想她在家里整天的凄凉掩抑,在这朗阔的野外,让她恣情的一恸,倒也是一种发泄,我也便悄悄的走向一边。 | “wo mei you dui ren he ren shui guo ren he yan yu ,zi ji ku gou le ,zhe mo fang duo nan de nian tou ,he bi you zeng jia bie ren de tong ku ?dui wo de fu mu ,wo shi geng bu shui de 。fu qin cong bei fang lai xin ,zong shi shui ”na guo nong yu ming yan de feng guang ,bu zhi you tian le ni duo shao shi liao ,wei he bu ji dian duan shi gei ba ba kan ?“zui jin bu zhi shi shei ,xiang ta men bao gao le zhe li de shi kuang ,mu qin hen you ku de xie le xin lai ,shui ”wo bu zhi dao ni men na li jing shi zhe ge yang zi !lao tai tai zong gai ke yi bang bang mang ba ?zao zhi ru ci ,wo dang chu bu gai you zhao ni dou shu xie zi ,ba shen ti long huai le ,jia shi ye yi dian bu hui 。“ta ba zi ji bao yuan le yi du ,wo kan le xin ,zhen shi xin ru dao ge 。wo zi ji tong ku bu yao jin ,hai hai de fu qin wei wo shi wang ,mu qin wei wo shang xin ,×xian sheng ,zhe zhen shi 《pi pa ji 》li cai zhong lang suo shui de ”wen zhang wu wo ,wo wu die niang “le !”ta shui zhao ren bu zhu ba hai zi tui zai yi bian ,yong yi jin yan zhao lian da ku le qi lai 。hai zi men ye hu kan guan le ma ma de ti ku ,dai li le yi hui ,bian man man zou kai ,reng qu wan shua 。wo ne ,bu zhi dao zen yang quan ta ,ye xiang ta zai jia li zheng tian de qi liang yan yi ,zai zhe lang kuo de ye wai ,rang ta zi qing de yi tong ,dao ye shi yi chong fa xie ,wo ye bian qiao qiao de zou xiang yi bian 。 |
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| 我真不想再住下去了,那时学校里已放了暑假。城墙边的防空洞曾震塌了一次,压伤了许多人,m老太太幸而无恙。 | wo zhen bu xiang zai zhu xia qu le ,na shi xue jiao li yi fang le shu jia 。cheng qiang bian de fang kong dong ceng zhen ta le yi ci ,ya shang le hu duo ren ,mlao tai tai xing er mo yang 。 |
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| 我便撺掇他们疏散到乡下去。我自己也远远的搬到另一乡村里的祠堂里住下——在那里,我又遇到了一个女人! | wo bian cuan duo ta men shu san dao xiang xia qu 。wo zi ji ye yuan yuan de ban dao ling yi xiang cun li de ci tang li zhu xia ——zai na li ,wo you yu dao le yi ge nv ren ! |
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